Has my dads Indecent exposure affected my relationships? : Sexual ...

When I was a toddler my dad was convicted of Indecent exposure to two teenage girls (minors). He was working in a retail shop and masturbated in the changing room for them to see. My mother was horrified. Their already volatile relationship (controlling behaviour, domestic violence) finished. He received a suspended sentence and with on sex offenders register. At age 7 I was taken into foster care because of 'emotional abuse' from my mother and this danger from my father. At age 9 my father gained full custody of me (despite his past!) I went to live with him. At aged 11-12? he indecently exposed himself to a friend of mine (who was aged 13-14). I knew about his conviction as my social worker had told me before living with him. When she told me I just ignored it. As time went on I found naked pictures of him in his room, on our shared PC (of his genitals) and more recently at aged 23 he lent me his mobile phone their was a picture of his genitals on the phone. I confronted my dad around this time about my former friend. He tried to lie then he admitted. He apologised and I said to him that if he ever gets in trouble for this I'll be gone. But now I'm 25, I'm depressed, been to therapy for over 2 years (multiple issues from my childhood) and I've decided to stop contact with my dad.

My mind just races with thoughts that he's a pedophile and that he's still doing this indecent exposure. When I confronted him I asked him if he's received help in curbing it, he says he has....but I'm not sure if he has or its worked. I'm also having a hard time accepting that the social services thought it was acceptable to place me in the care of a man who has this problem. According to my mum, a psychologists report during the custody battle stated that he does this as a reaction to stress and childhood trauma and that their was 'low risk' of exposure to his daughter, although it was higher during adolescence. I'll add that my relationship with my mother has been fraught with battles about my dad and she perpetually displays borderline, bipolar and narc disorder symptoms. Who knows what she should be diagnosed with, either way she's VERY difficult to get along with and has extreme mood changes often

Im trying my best not to blame all my shortcomings on my parents and I am starting new therapy soon, after a break and some of the most darkest moments of my life recently (depression suicidal thoughts etc..), also on anti depressants now.

One thing I'm most down about is my promiscuity. I had a 4 years relationship which was healthy, but felt undeserving and left this guy and went into the arms of a narc. That was a train wreck. After 18months of hell I left him and I have slept with ALOT of guys. I find it difficult to develop respectful and meaningful relationships. I am trying to stay clear of guys altogether but this proves difficult for me. Fear of intimacy.

Anyway I wanted to hear from anyone who has had a similar experience in regards to indecent exposure or any professionals with experience with these offenders. I am always suspicious that my father is worse than I know.

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